A letter to someone.

"Hello, how are you?''- I hate this kind of beginnings so I am not gonna tell you these useless words. We both know that time passed, but surprisingly it was just numbers passing away. All my feelings are still the same. Nothing has changed. I still think that we just met each other at a very strange time of our lives and neither you nor me were ready for something that important.

I have no idea about your ''now'', but I am a person who knows everything about your past. I still remember all those scars on your body and  remembering some of them still frightens me. I still remember your voice and I am craving so bad for hearing it again. I still remember the color of your eyes and I will be honest to say, that I have never seen anyone with the same color of eyes. I was trying  so hard not to write, but the silence and patience are the worst killers, I guess. I am writing this letter, but I am not sure you will read this, anyway I hope you will. I hope you remember about that feeling you had when you first saw me on our first date. I hope you remember all those words you used to tell me. 

We were best friends. We were soulmates and a bit of lovers, you know...

What about now? Can we just try, so that after ten years the question ''What if''  and feeling of regrets won't be stuck in our heads?

I want you to remember me curled up, listening to the sound of your heartbeat and tracing maps across your skin. Remember me laughing at your jokes, even the stupid ones. Remember me in hysterics for absolutely no reason and in tears because one time you made me so sad neither of us thought I’d recover. Remember me brave, that time you held my hand and I thought I was going to die; remember me scared and gentle and delicate and breakable - only for you though, only for you.

Remember me happy, and all the ridiculous ways I tried to get your attention. Remember all the firsts and how they were so delightful we went back for seconds and thirds and fourths. If it’s any consolation I allowed myself to have them too. 

If it comes to it I don’t want you to remember the ending. 

Remember the beginning. Remember the first time you knew.

''I love you''- I hate this kind of endings, so I am not gonna tell you these words either, but I guess everything is already clear.